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Seven Steps
of Successful Surrogate Tapping
By Deborah Donndelinger, Certified EFT Practitioner and
Karen McLaughlin, EFT Practitioner
Available at
www.EFTwithDeborah.com
Released January 2009
Successful Surrogate Tapping
Surrogate:
put into the place of another as a successor, substitute, or deputy
A frequent question Karen and I (Deborah) get asked as EFT practitioners and parents is, “Can I
tap for someone else?”
The answer is yes. This e-guide offers a structured approach to surrogate tapping. In most cases,
you won’t need all the steps but if you are getting stuck, try this stepped approach and notice
what happens.
Many online resources on surrogate tapping can be found by searching the term "surrogate
tapping"; Gary Craig’s site, www.emofree.com, has multiple case studies and articles on
surrogate tapping. Our advice is to take a look around, read several authors, and take what works
for you.
We are assuming you already know how to use EFT for yourself. By reading and applying
what’s in this e-guide, you take full responsibility for yourself and the standard disclaimer that
applies to EFT applies here as well.
If you have questions not answered here, please email Deborah at deb@eftwithdeborah.com or
Karen at karen_mclaughlin@cogeco.ca.
Happy tapping!
What is surrogate tapping?
Surrogate tapping (also known as proxy tapping) is a term that refers to tapping on oneself for
the benefit of someone else. From
fear of flying
to allergies to bedwetting to temper tantrums to
cancer
, folks are reporting outstanding results with surrogate tapping.
There are several elements that make surrogate tapping more effective. You don’t need all of
them; surrogate tapping is surprisingly forgiving. However, if you don’t know where to start or
are finding surrogate tapping not working, this seven step model will give you a comprehensive
approach to follow that can turbo-charge your surrogate tapping.
Seven Steps to Surrogate Tapping
Step One: Define the issue or symptom to be addressed.
Step Two: Identify and clear your attachment and reaction to the symptom.
Step Three: Know and expand your beliefs about surrogate tapping.
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Successful Surrogate Tapping
Step Four: Get the go-ahead.
Step Five: Tune into the other person and see what you feel/see/hear or notice.
Step Six: Tap for the other person.
Step Seven: Check for results.
Step One: Define the issue or symptom to be addressed.
As with tapping for yourself, get clear about the issue that you want to help. This might be:
My son has a stuffy nose.
•
My daughter is biting her nails.
•
My mother is saying she feels nauseous.
•
Notice some of the details of the issue you want to clear. As always, when using EFT the more
specific the better. When identifying the issue, separate what's observable, what's your reaction,
and what assumptions you are making.
An example: My son has allergies.
What's observable: My son sneezes every time he gets in the car.
What's my reaction: I get frustrated because he sneezes on the windshield (don’t laugh
folks, it’s actually true!) On a scale of 0 to 10, I’m at about a 4 level of frustration.
I'm assuming: He sneezes on purpose. I know this is totally unreasonable on a logical
level, but if you really check into your assumptions, you might find some assumptions you
are making that are similarly illogical based out of frustration.
An example: My daughter is biting her nails.
What's observable: My daughter's nails are short and she tells me she likes to bite them.
My reaction: I get annoyed because I think her nails are ugly.
I'm assuming: She'll never stop and will always bite her nails just like I do.
An example: My daughter has too many cavities.
What's observable: My daughter had two cavities in her baby teeth last month.
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Successful Surrogate Tapping
My reaction: I get scared because I don't know what she needs to have healthy teeth.
I'm assuming: She's unhealthy because cavities mean her system is out of balance.
Step Two: Identify and clear your attachment and reaction to the symptom.
Step two is the most common place where folks block their surrogate tapping. EFT works much
more effectively if you are able to do it without any attachment to the outcome; if you are
invested in "making EFT work" you are less likely to get results. Being unattached to the
outcome is often referred to as "getting yourself out of the way". Explore and tap on any and all
reaction and intensity
you
have about the issue. Be real and dig deep. Sometimes this is all that
has to happen to get results on the target issue.
So for example, if your child is ill and you feel frustrated and worn out, tap on those feelings for
yourself. If your mother is hospitalized and you are scared and grieving, tap on those feelings for
yourself. If your child has allergies, and you feel guilty he got your allergies, tap on those
feelings for yourself. Get the idea?
Step Three: Know and expand your beliefs about surrogate tapping.
Both scientific (quantum physics) and spiritual ("oneness") principles suggest that we are all
connected energetically. This means that tapping on our own body with the intention to help
someone else can allow us to affect another person's energy system. For those of you interested
in learning more,
Gregg Braden's work
is an excellent place to start.
For yourself, what do you believe about surrogate tapping? If there was a spectrum of belief
from zero (there is no way this will work) to 10 (I’m an awesome surrogate tapper), where are
you?
While it’s not needed that you firmly believe in surrogate tapping for it to work, it doesn’t hurt to
expand your openness to surrogate tapping. So try this:
Set-Up
Even though I am new to surrogate tapping, I am open to the idea of learning how to surrogate
tap.
Even though I don’t know how this can work, I am open to the idea of it working.
Even though I think I have to understand it, I am open to the possibility that it can work without
my understanding it.
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Successful Surrogate Tapping
Eyebrow:
This surrogate tapping, how can it work?
Side of the Eye:
How can tapping on myself help someone else?
Under the Eye:
That's outrageous!
Nose:
This surrogate tapping, it seems too weird for me.
Chin:
This surrogate tapping, I don't understand it.
Collarbone:
This surrogate tapping, what if I do it wrong?
Under the arm:
This surrogate tapping, all I want to do is help.
Head:
This weird, hard-to-understand, but potentially amazing surrogate tapping.
Step Four: Get the go-ahead.
There are two camps of thought about surrogate tapping. Some folks think explicit permission
must be gotten from the target person, others think that having an honorable intention is
enough. Gary Craig, the founder of EFT, writes about this on www.emofree.com.
I (Deborah) personally believe that we can use our intuition to determine whether we have
permission or not. This assumes a somewhat healthy level of self-awareness and self-
differentiation. Even, and especially, in the case of parents tapping for their children, I always
suggest they be aware of their intentions.
To determine whether you have permission to tap for the other person, ask yourself three
questions. Ask the questions to yourself quietly and notice what you feel.
1.
Is it the right time and place for me to tap for this person?
If you feel tension or fear
about surrogate tapping, tap on that first before continuing.
2.
Am I the right person to tap for this person?
Am I too invested? Do I need to tap for
myself first? Should I work with an impartial third person?
3.
Is there anything I need to know before tapping for this person?
Again, relying on your
inner guidance, tune into yourself and see/hear/intuit what answers come up. Trust whatever
ideas occur to you.
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